yanny

2011-11-12T01:47:00.002+08:00

Th month of october is tough ones, i cried almost everyday and hoping tht u could undrstnd wht im trying to say. But u freakin ignore me instead! But after th 1 on 1 talked, thank god u got it! And ure super awesome! Ure different from a guy tht ive date or w before. Ure just th best among th rest! I thank god i met u! I thank u for treating me well. What else i want from u? Ure just an ideal guy for me. Ily! Ily! And ily! Bby, pls dont ever leave me.. I'll promise u i'll be good! Thnks for th undrstandin. Miss u much!

2011-09-14T03:04:00.004+08:00

"God give me strength. i need you to guide me. amin"

2011-08-27T22:04:00.002+08:00

Hi all, today is saturday and yeah i stayed home. My bf had his boys riding session and i dont want to be the only lady there. so it's ok, my rest day! whee!
But i dont do nothing at home obviously, i checked out my girly make up stuff and yea decide to makeover myself since i got nothing to do. So here's th credit! im so happy. i put on 2 fake lashes on 1 eye just to make it look more to dolly like but nope. Atleast my eyes look larger and im happy! LOL!
Oh well, boyfriend just called me and tomorrow will be going geylang w him to buy raya kurung. Ok, can and i want foooOOOddd tomorrow!! i dont care! huahuahua! and so whats new bout me? hmmm this year i've just gained freaking 7kg in 2 months! yes! i have double chin, my butt looks bigger, my arms.. oh well, like i weight 70kg like tht. but no obviously im just 53kg. FAT! NO? idk. colleagues calling me fatty, MOK, gemok etc.. alaaa, i dont care and im happy. i think i look good when ive already gained weight :) so i think i've typed much. till here. see ya around and i guess no ones reading also. HAHAHAHAHAH! gdnight!

2011-08-25T00:14:00.003+08:00

Th day i felt im super lucky to have someone shows tht he really care bout u. He's awesome though i ddnt tell him tht. Whom can calm me dwn when i was angry, when i got sick, when im sad and when i need him th most. He shows me he do care bout me. Nvr fail to say he loves me every single time. Im glad ive met you. Thank god! Amin. Xoxo!

2011-06-10T15:52:00.002+08:00

Cuddle me to sleep, and i'm fucking miss you alrdy. isnt th txt so sweet? damnn. I think i'm in ♥

2011-06-09T16:23:00.002+08:00

I just can't get enough of you♥
Keep going on and love me like you did now.
I'll promise you i'm gonna love you 10x more.♥
I think i'm in love shit. HEHEHE...

2011-04-22T02:26:00.002+08:00

My Birthday was spent w my 1 and only boyfriend. The sweet part is, he made me wait before meeting me on th 18th april which is my eve birthday and really upset me. But he glows me when he shows me his time watch 1159hr - 0000hr, and shout "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BBY!!" hahaha! there's no need to celebrate big party and so on w a little of sincerity is enough. Thanks for spending time w me, th 2 volcom tee's and make my day on my very special day. I love you eternity, Muhammad faizal bin name bapak dia laahhh! haha.

2011-04-01T20:13:00.000+08:00

Mama, thank you for my advance birthday present. I LOVE YOU! yes i do!

2011-03-29T14:08:00.002+08:00

Riding on Ryan's mom magic school bus in th middle of th night to muslim cemetery to explore. We had nothing to do on saturday night so yeah this is what gonna happen. will update more soon. tc love. i do love my boyfriend still. (:

2011-03-21T21:53:00.001+08:00

Just watch your back, once you hit it karma will hit you back. tc.

2011-02-16T15:20:00.002+08:00

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A karaoke session to kill our boredoms when having our off day. From th "malay jiwang-est to MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, SLIPKNOT and ETC" gosh we're exercising internal and external. hahaha! and was late meeting my bf then. he felt asleep for about 3 to 4 times. Sorry love. atleast we meet plus today ok? i love you amyemilya & mohd faizal j.

2011-02-12T18:07:00.002+08:00

Was freaking bored at work, and my boy called me up and plan to meet. so, he fetch me after work w my laptop we went to civic centre library and we go "CAMWHORE MADNESS"!! hahaha! super fun. Then went for supper at AL-AMEEN, then home. I just can't resist him now! i miss you baby!xoxo

2011-02-03T16:58:00.003+08:00

Zouk w bf and friends and i'm th only girl among tht 5guys. so zouk at about 1am and fyi i have to work at 8am in th morning but i still zouk w them! hahaha. i was all alive there dancing w bf, and guess what i ddnt fucking sleep! bf sent me home about 6am and i took my shower, power nap abt 15mins then off to work till 5pm. great enough? i should give it another go next time. hehe!

2011-01-26T14:49:00.002+08:00

Back again, i know i've not been active lately due to work and tired. Though i know nobody is reading my blog but still i've treated this blog like as my own diary. Today will be working night shift, and gladly bby still wanna meet me and send me off to work. Sometimes i thought tht we're often meet, otp and texting it could make you feel bored. But whenever we're otp, you never failed to put down w last words " ily b." hehe. You never fail to make me smile & say you miss me though we met an hour ago like that. What more can i ask from you? nothing. i'm happy th way you are and th way you accept me for who iam. Th way you built my confidence back to be whom iam before without you, yourself realising. Gosh! thank god i met you. ilysm muhammad faizal bin mohd jamil ♥

2011-01-11T01:55:00.002+08:00

It's like th 1st time i felt that someone truly care and love me. Thanks to youu that have gain my confidence back to normal and be strong ever then before. i love you, muhammad faizal bin mohd jamil! xoxo, yanny jamal♥

2011-01-10T03:56:00.002+08:00

Hey, Happy New Year! Yeah i know it's kinda late. But still New Year righttt? hehehe. I love my F.J trucksload. thanks for everything hunny(:

2010-12-05T22:55:00.001+08:00

GET YR ASS TO TH DANCEFLOOR! WHOOHOO!!!

2010-12-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

F.J♥

2010-11-14T23:15:00.001+08:00

Don't say that word (word), unless you mean it (unless you mean it)
Some things die and it don't come back (back)
Don't say that word (word), if you don't believe it (don't believe it)
There's no tiiiiiime for that (for that)

I'll be gone (be gone)
I'll be gone (be gone)

I don't know why you'd ever say you love me
If you've never been around long enough
I cook us dinner and eat all by myself
Now yeah it's so sad, it's been real tough

Well fuck you, then you say all these sweet things
But never do you ever show me in person
By the time you've realized what you lost (lost)
I'll be gone (gone), yeah I'll be the one you'll be searching for

Courtesy smiles
Lose their meaning, have no meaning (have no meaning)
Make it worth your while (worth your while)
Lose all feeling (lose all feeling), there's no feeling

Don't say that word (word), unless you mean it (unless you mean it)
Some things die and it don't come back (back)
Don't say that word (word), if you don't believe it (don't believe it)
There's no tiiiiiime for that

I'll be gone (be gone)
I'll be gone (be gone)

I remember the first time you told me you loved me
And we had the best, night of our lives (night of our lives)
Laying side by side for hours after playing around
Until late in the night (late in the night)

And I believed how you said, you were so good in bed
But now I know so much better (now I know so much better)
So I moved on, the lining in your palm is drawn (drawn)
And I'll be the one you'll be searching for (for)

Courtesy smiles
Lose their meaning, have no meaning (have no meaning)
Make it worth your while (worth your while)
Lose all feeling (lose all feeling), there's no feeling

Don't say that word (word), unless you mean it (unless you mean it)
Some things die and it don't come back
Don't say that word (word), if you don't believe it (don't believe it)
There's no tiiiiiime for that (that)

I'll be gone (be gone)
I'll be gone (be gone)

Don't say that word, unless you mean it
Some things die and it don't come back
Don't say that word, if you don't believe it
There's no tiiiiiime for that (for that)

I'll be gone (be gone)
I'll be gone (be gone)

I'll be gone

2010-10-18T14:07:00.001+08:00

Date with gf tht i last long seen. awesome and my hair sucks!

2010-10-02T01:26:00.006+08:00

Annie's birthday and got treated at chupitos bar! fucking fun, well service and birthday girl got drunk. Joke of th day is dee banging on th glass door and give 1 stupid reaction! lol!

2010-09-23T19:08:00.003+08:00

Raya with dee's friend is whole lots fun! 11 hse in total and were so exhausted. pffft! but overall so happy. < 3

2010-09-20T01:19:00.002+08:00

my buddy. my love. my bro. i love you guys. muah!

2010-09-17T07:01:00.004+08:00

♥15/09/10♥
" true & dare sungguh tk perlu" my face look so red! hmph!

2010-09-13T19:37:00.003+08:00

wow, my blog is full of dusty. sorry laa bby, i'm too busy laa. ((:

okok, so my this year raya kinda sucks, family went to mlysia while i have to stay here in singapore and work my ass off. really, then at night dee brought me to his place and raya with him. OMGOMG! but i like((: his family is so fucking damn nice. i don't feel like a strangers at all. So, sorry laa no this year raya pics. *sigh* i know sooo sad... but afterall, i wish all muslim "SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.((: "

2010-08-26T23:10:00.002+08:00

Wednesday night, mahdee called and bring me along to geylang bazaar with his family. And so, i've joined in and i bought alot of variety food!!! and then i'm craving to eat prata tissue tht is sungguh out of my mind and mahdee brought me to Simpang bedok to had my prata tissue and off to marina barrage and eat plus lepak with th food we bought at geylang bazaar. My appetite came back and i eat extra double jumbo then before. We stay up late till 5.30am and then he sent me off home. had 1hr of sleep and then work. hahhaha! anw dee, thank you prata tissue! kau, BESTTT! I LIKE! hahaha! and drinking session soon.. friend birthday and i can't wait to drink,drank,drunk! wheee~

p/s: i know tht sound like sooo not me. but sometimes u are meant to change it.((:

2010-08-21T06:57:00.004+08:00

Splendid evening thursday. birthday bash and karaoke midnight and of to prata house for supper((:

2010-08-17T19:45:00.002+08:00

It's a shame that it had to be this way, It's not enough to say " I'm sorry. " It's not enough to say " I'm sorry. "
Maybe I'm to blame, Or maybe were the same. But either way I can't breathe. I can't breathe. All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way.

I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive cause everything we've been through and everything about you
Seemed to be a lie. A guiltless twisted lie. It made me learn to hate you or hate myself for letting it pass by..
All I had to say is goodbye, Were better off this way...

And every, everything isn't only, What it seemed so hold these words that you never told me. Its time to say goodby. "Goodbye"
Bye.

Take my hand away, spell it out. Tell me I was wrong. i was wrong.

2010-08-15T04:38:00.002+08:00

" You stand there and watch me burn, i like th way it hurts. stand there and hear me cry, because i love th way you lie".

2010-08-02T23:54:00.003+08:00

hey, i'm back. chilling with these girls makes me laugh my ass off but when we're apart i intend to cry and lock myself in th room. haha. stupid sia. i knowww right... btw ppl, i just chop my hair short, damn short! haha. stress and derrrrrhh so cut and now i look like @#$%^&*&^%$#$%^&^$#@!!!!!!!!!!!! ok just get it yrself. Life still like @#$^#!! so i just follow th flow. i'm tired. but olny god knows wht i'm feeling inside. i put a fake smile to make myself look happy. but wht i can say to those people who trying to make me laugh or smile is THANK YOU! ((:
so i going to stop here and sleep. wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! 2hrs slping only.

2010-07-31T22:05:00.003+08:00

"Take my hands silently, hold me silently, I'm only wishing for such little comforts, You don't know my heart that wanted to do more just for you" ♥♥♥♥

♥Heechul Oppa saranghae!♥

2010-07-30T04:49:00.003+08:00

my cousin bring me out because she knows how down am i, meet with her friends had fun but i can't stop thinking of my past. how i wish i can forget th past in 1 sec and move on. they're trying hard to make me laugh. And her friend is being so irritating to be all by myside for like most of th time. erghh!

and i felt paranoid with this guy contacting me almost everynight. fuck off please. not even a tiny bit of liking u in my heart. i still rooting on th ground still. 1 sec i laughed out loud, another sec i cry infront of them. i just can't help it. i'm sorry. going to change no. soon. wheeee~ see this guy again call me. WTF sial! stop calling me laa. am not interested. haha. nomore for me.

p/s:everything just remind me of th past, and still hurtful. can it be gone?*sigh

2010-07-29T01:11:00.002+08:00

"Love isn't finding a perfect person, It's seeing an imperfection person perfectly."

i always treat these people like my family, and yes i love them. but all gone now. i'll shall close my book and stop writing a journal about this sucks life anymore. i accept but in th end i lose. where do i went wrong? God, please give me strength to accept this though i felt draggy.i'm just suck at love.

2010-07-28T04:17:00.002+08:00

Iam back on my feet bby! add me up in facebook soon. see my happy face. all thanks to my mr. nice guy ((:
who taught me about what is love. thanks! hehe. and thanks to sweets for helping me out. i'm just gonna be th 16yrs old girl back. Lungs, i'm sorry to turn u black because it makes me feels goodddd.. eye, sorry to turn u yellow because i don't want to see a guy like him anymore. the more faster i die i'll have peace. i love u ciggy. And never ever give a chance to people who did shit once on you, they can never change. So i'll change myself. Old friend, do you still read my blog? can i have you back. i promise friends is more important then relationship. i'm sorry for th past 3yrs.

2010-07-27T01:00:00.002+08:00

Am so fucking disappointed, throughout th day I've been thinking should i let go or hold him tight. Like what i said, i fucking love him to th core and why th fuck can't him realised? He only wants his way, he never follow my way. Is tht wht you want yanny? Ofcourse not, In mind i really thinking of letting him go. But why th fuck i still think of him? like wht he says, he would make things like before and he really wants me. My heart pain, and i remember how i feel when you love someone they give-up on you. i can't intend to hurt him though i got hurt, i will still think of his feelings. How am i going to trust him like i did before? How will he prove me tht i'm his only? how will he prove tht i'm th one he love's? Maybe i'm gonna give him this last chance. Cause wht he promise me is wht my happiness tht i want in him. i wanna wake up every morning with him b my side hugging me tight. bby, will you change for th best? Can i really trust yr words now? Will you prove me tht i'm yr only one? we'll stick to our promise every single time can we? Can you take this chance seriously? and i'll fucking wait for you like wht you have said to me. Don't let me leave you again, cause once i leave i'll swear i'm not gonna think of you anymore. enough of the patience tht i gave you for 3yrs. Keeping silent dosen't mean i'm not gonna give up. i have limits and i want you to know tht i can tc you, as in love. i wants my happiness too. i know i'm being so nasty this few days cause i felt you went overboard me. i hate it when you cheated my feelings. please say it if you meant it. It's ok, you don't have to lie. cause love accept whoever they're.

when i saw everything tht you've lied to me, i'll swear th feeling tht i'm gonna do is to leave you. But you kept saying you need me, you can't live without me while i say you can. you kept saying you want me to be yours. All i ever ask is for happiness, faithful,trustworthy and love from you. By th age of 21 i'll get myslf a own family. Even if you leave me i'll have to move on though it's tough. But i'll do. So make sure whatever you say please say it when you meant it. No more nonscene. Last one for you ok? i promise you i'll stick to my words if you stick to yours. If you bullcrap with me i'll show you how yanny's bullcrap with guys. stick to yr words ok? i'll always love you though now we're not together. i'll prove you how is my words are true. love you kailontong((:

2010-07-26T00:00:00.004+08:00

Hello, goodmorning. clock now strike at 1.20am and i feel so fresh awake. i'm deleting pictures in my folder and i cried again. idk, why this stupid tears have to roll down on my cheeks when it "sungguh tak perlu" roll. Some readers confirm chop pigg head "say what folder sia??" want to know? soon you guys will know. Just wish him th very goodluck and happy life eh? amin.

Don't blame me if you see changes in me. i deserve it and i deserve a happy life now. pure 3yrs i've been handling patience and i put on alot of hopes then i fall DOOM just like tht in th end. my mistake to trust people whole hearted when i didn't know tht i got a 'L' shape on my forehead stated very biggg. I wish i can let go, i wish i have no hearts, i wish i won't give my tears roll on my cheeks. i feel like i want sweetest drug in me. i want ciggies back. why i stop doing tht because of this 'L' in me which i always thought LOVE. Does love really hurts like how i feel or it just LUST? How i managed to give all ever you wanted in me i gave it. wow, whats wrong with me seriously? i'm so wanna go out and explore th world and people this week. so so so sexxxited! i still love him, but move your butt yanny. don't disturb people in love shit or else you gonna hurt again. want or dont want uh yanny?? i don't want. good girl. so don't disturb if you love him. if he loves you he will choose you not her. hehe. ok! no more crying ok yanny? later you got ugly eyes who want ugly eyes? guys all go for looks. if it stated to be matchmaker from parents i'll swear i'll run far far from Singapore. i bring my body and my album with me and oh ya my diary. why like that uh? i guess it's karma, cause i used to hurt this guy heart deeply. i'm sorry cause i don't love you at all at tht time. but when i met a person i love i got ~karma~ haha! true true. am i talking to myself now? hell yes! why cant i stop it? idk. ok. i must stp it. but last, how can i make you disappear? i love you so much and i got this. but i must thank god i met you and know you. you're th key to my heart < 3 and now? hmmm can th key still fits i my heart? can you try again?

Nina;

Alright, 1st step to have a clean and fresh make up is after shower or i should say after you washed your face

and th 2nd step i always put sunblock lotion as base make-up to hold th make-up last longer

and th 3rd step after 5min i let my lotion settled then i put on my foundation for my coverage cause i have alot blemished((: (remmbr less is = to more) if you wear too much of layers for th foundation it can cause cakey on your face which is na-uh very ugly makeup! so less foundation = more ok people.?

and th 4th CONCEALED your dark eye and blemished!!!

and th 5th step i used 2waycake powder as extra coverage but if you used many layers of foundation don't use 2waycake powder its better to use loose powder.((:

and th 6th step then i start drawing my brows, i outline with brown pencil then shade it with dark brown eyeshadows. th darker eyebrows u have th fierce looking you may look so choose th colour 3 tone lighter then your hair colour.

and th 7th i put on white eyeshadow and it's a must for me cause your eye can look much more brighter and more colours. followed by what colour next, and blend,blend,blend,blend...

8th eyeliner and mascara is a must for me.

9th contour my nose and cheek and then Blush on with pink blush for fair people orangy for tan skin tone is lovely!

10th i dont wear any lip colour but last is always put on lip colour laa.

end tadaaa!!! hahaha...

p/s: i missed th old you. let it be.

2010-07-25T00:12:00.002+08:00

OFFICIALLY, OUT OF MY LIFE

best of luck, let me fly, let me explore th world, let me learn about guys and lastly let me learn what is true love. i'm all confused, do i still love you or hate you. it sucks. you're just sucks!

2010-07-24T02:38:00.000+08:00

hi, i have to say i have to learn to let go. Though i really want it so bad i still hav to learn to let go. When i give in dosent mean u can step on my head all over. Hey, look at me and u see wht do we have? Heart. Bt it seems u lied so much thing to keep me in th dark hoping high hopes on u. I never knw ths could be ths way. I wish and pray u could change to b better person to yr love ones. I knew i could not make u happy. Bt hw faithful iam to u is always and nvr end. Bt for nw im moving forward and hoping nt to look back. It jst hurt bt i wont let u feel th same. Go on live happy. End here. Rmmbr my favour pls help me do it so i can move forward. With love, yanny.

2010-07-23T01:26:00.001+08:00

I tears apart when i felt this, my heart kept pumping my tears drop as in like waterfall. i wish to end it. i hate this life. i hate you. i swear i'll give you happiness. fuck off!

2010-07-23T00:17:00.000+08:00

i'm staying over at my cousin's place and wht i did is movie marathoning. I jst cnt put my butt shut at hme. I have to get my butt and feet up from hme. In few weeks time i guess my life will be superb busy. Jst tht my routine life with bby won't be th same. I have to say i hate this part most! Cause bby been busy now and we seldom meet and nt like we're used to. I miss him absolutefuckingly! Now he say sorry, cause he's having red light. Paham2 laa. Haha! Wtf sia kai. Its ok for nt meeting me cause im jst opposite to yr blk nw, movie marathon since 8pm and now clock strike 12.30am. And will keep marathon till 7am or 6am. Depends. So till thn. Gdnight peeps!

2010-07-22T02:00:00.002+08:00

bby, is our love for real? or we're just saying love with no feelings? (: heyy kai wo ai ni! mingpai mahh? (((:

2010-07-20T23:38:00.002+08:00

hello! im back again((:
miss me? i know, NO! hahaha!!

just came back from waterfront with this pepek! she say my boobies look like mak-mak size. nb cb!
okok so went to th waterfront sekali raining laaa sial! walauweii, then we picnik while raining..hahaha! i gave food to 1 of this kitten so cute. i put 1 tidbits then th cat come put th food inside th mouth and run.! lol! i'm not like some japanese girls step on kitten's head. i love cats! i love animals! i love my pigg head kailontong! haha. so just got this 2 mat motor ask for number. and we say waiting for bf to come but actually no. then they say thank u and go.

TAG REPLIED :

Lalaa;
Hey babe! thanks hehe! illyana friend's? then can hangout tgt sometimes(:

Feet;
hahahaha!! it's okey, i like your question anw. makeup fees? about 500+ include makeup but no cert only testimonial((:

Nina;
how do i do my eye makeup? hmm, as in wht makeup? smokey or cateye? oh just thick eyeliner? eyebrow i do myself. thnks((:

Anna;
anna sygg, cb wakk lu! hahahaha! since when i go airport darla.? if go confirm look for u and throw eggs at u! imyt babe tetek!

2010-07-20T16:41:00.002+08:00

I had a nightmare which is so like true! i'm so scared and straight away i msg him what i dreamt. Gosh! don't make it happen like tht way.

yesterday met him, i cooked his favourite dish which is sambal prawn and mutton curry. See i so sweet cook for bf..HAHAH! i like cooking laaa! idk why sia but it just inspired me. so after marry my husband don't have to eat outside waste money ready. just buy th whole month groceries and i'll do th cooking and when he came home after work i'll serve him like how my mom did to my dad..awwww so sweet... but nowadays mummy is damn busy with working for extra income and she can't LAYAN dad like she does. so i'll cooked for dad and make him drinks. Thts what my mom taught me to laaa... so old fashion! lol!

ok whatever. so yesterday i was actually not happy laaa how my bf treats me but i'm happy to see him even for a few hours. He so fucking busy and had no time for me like he used to. but nvm laaa, as long no fighting involve i'm ok with it. (:
but i do really wish to have more time with u cb! atleast 1day..pleaseeeeeeeeee!!!! go out jalan-jalan.. can? i don't want stay home shake leg sia. then later fall asleep.. atleast 1day we go out ok.. i'm going out soon to waterfont! ohhh happy happy with my SCANDAL! ahahha!! YASHAAA!! my scandal is my own cous and it's a girl. lesbo. she kept touching my tigh from just now. crazy pig! ok laa at night i update again horr.. stay tune. gd day people! (:

2010-07-18T23:58:00.002+08:00

Hello, today i woke abit earlier like 2 hours earlier so tht means about 1.30pm. (:

wake up and make some coffee for myself clean th house and paint my nails and off to shower. so today not much laa cause i never meet my bf today so abit boring lorr. i miss him like FUCK yknow. lucky, tomorrow he had off day to spend time with me like FINALLY! so yeah. so today i went to woodlands and ya rounding buy tidbits to eat and love th breeze.. today weather i like! so i just got home since yesterday i dont sit infront of th computer and surf th net th whole day i dont blog. today kene la kann???

okok! ntg much to say i've gtg. till then tc peeps if fall please bangun sendiri ok? hahahaha!

2010-07-17T01:22:00.003+08:00

Today, i wanting to wake up at 7am. but idk why my alarm clock doesn't ring or am i th one who doesn't heard? But lucky i have bad nightmare to wake me up at 745am instead. dead shit, i'm late! quickly shower change put on light make up and dashed out from home without having my breakfast. when i reached there, fucking hell, there's alot more who came late...if i knew this were to happen to me i won't run to catch th bus and sweating like pig..SUMPAH TAK GLAMOUR.hahah!

After took th lesson finished i gets my certification..Yayy! happy sungguh-sungguh! so i had lunch kfc after tht SEOUL GARDEN with abang. FYI, it's free food for me. hah! why not somemore i never go there before):
once on KAI'S bday i wanting to celebrate his bday there but at tht time it was fasting month so th place was packed! so tak jadi.. i so happy sia eat there, and then abang was like so KIASU go and take alot of meat and ask me cook.. haha. i eat fucking damn alot. it's worth it sia! i took meat, chicken, spaghetti, tom-yum soup fishball, squid, fried dumpling, freeflow drinks, fries and total of 8 to 9 scoops of ice-cream different flavours.. hahahaha!!! if kai were there confirm, funny. we eat like there's no tomorrow..after eating i tell abang, wow sleepy sia i wake up morning and only sleep for 2hours now full like piggg feel sleepy. so i go home with abang take bus lor and i fell asleep. i wanted to meet kai but he has customer today and i ddn't bring my helmet with me plus i'm superb tired so we decide sunday then we meet. If miss pon miss larh cannot avoid. have to be this way ):

i sleep and if abang was not around with me i will be back to woodlands because overslept. Lucky, he woke me up by kicking my seat!!!!! hahaha i shocked sia and my eyes is red! thts how tired still dreaming to meet kai. haiyo, yanny don't like tht laa..ok? reached home mom see th cert and dad then i had my shower and now i'm blogging and after this i'm gonna kiss my bed. i miss my bed fucking much! hahaha! tired sia.. ok la stop blabering and end here.. till then. gdnight. and i love you kailontong!

2010-07-16T03:15:00.003+08:00

God, please guide me to the correct path. i need someone to guide me and love me like how i love him this much. i just can't describe how much my love for him. is he for real to me? i wish so. my dream is o wake up every morning see him beside me hugging me so tight on th bed. i love him. god, pls help me.

p/s: happy 3yrs 1mnth. (:

2010-07-15T01:24:00.002+08:00

p/s: Well, rathnie got admitted in ICU again for th 2nd in NUH. Rathnie dear, GETWELLSOON ok? (:

Dear bby,

i'm sorry, i may be too overprotective just because i want you all mine and not others. Th short meet ups then u off to sleep, felt like i can't get enough of spending time with u. i get frustrated so easily, like where th hell my bby's going? I just want more u. Sorry, sometime i feel like want to get rid of u and replace it to someother guys but th love wont be th same like mine for u. But never in my mind to lie to u tht i love someother guys more then u. When u say i flirt, i'll just say sorry but never in my intention to cheat on u. The thing is i can't give up on u but i'm doing my best to be with u. And i wish u did th same to get my return. But whats make u happy, i'm willing to give u even it hurts me. and i will try my best. But for now i'm sorry and i hope tht u are all mine by myself. Goodnight and i love you.

XOXO,
yannyjamal(:

2010-07-14T03:53:00.000+08:00

LIFE SUCKS! YOU SUCKS TOO!

2010-07-12T04:19:00.002+08:00

Dear bby,

i know yknow who am i referring to and ofcourse it's my bf.
bby, if i can strum th guitar this good i 'll sing this for you. i need you and love you(:

2010-07-10T02:56:00.003+08:00

Never-ending passion. i love those lashes! wheee!

my camera charger spoiled. i can't recharge my batt. damn i'm so angry yknow! i can't camwhore after i done my make-up. so boring. rathnie's camera can use but th LCD lagi power! snap but cannot see. LMAO!

-tomorrow to do list-

-wake up early
-remove my nail colour
-repaint french tips on my feet and hand nail
-clean my room
-WANT GO OUT WITH MY BF!!!!!!

2010-07-09T02:56:00.003+08:00

HELLO!

today, i had a talk with mummy and aunt (:
nothing much, just talk and i babysit 2 kids and i felt so fustrated sia. cheebye! how sia to have kids after married? can i have no kids? 1 ah enough eh? hahaha.. woah cb i scared sia to have kids.. hahaha ok shut up dumbo! so now i'm being crazy, so boring sia today never go out. and mummy just got a job. mummy wants me to work with her. wtf! i don't want sia. though it's at yishun near to my place i still feel like not going there to work. damn. i wanna see mummy work tomorrow if only i could wake up as early by 10am or give face ok by 12pm? durhh.. i still asleep and snoring on my big bed with aircon. haha! ok whateva!!

Now, i'm waiting for my bf to txt me ni.. LEMBAB sia.. since 10pm yknow?? now, 3.15am i'm so bloody fuck worried. nb him. i think big tattoo for his customer till so busy to txt me. anw, i miss you fuck! haha. crazy. i so so so wanna meet my bf soon! i don't know why i miss him like this. like cheebye.

dad, just went for check up and result? nah-uh very bad. GET WELL SOON PAPA! i love you so much. Mummy, working at 5am till 1pm. have enough rest ok? i love you too. i know you trying to keep tht pay for our passport update soon. gosh, i'm sucha failure in my family. i wish and hope i can help out. *sigh

ok baby, till then gdnight i'm gonna find something to munch. damn hungry fuck! (:

******
p/s: HEY PEEPS, I HAVE NO FACEBOOK TO TALK ABT OTHER PPL. I'VE MY OWN LIFE TO HANDLE SO YEAH, FACEBOOK WHAT FOR? I'VE A BF SO I DON'T HAVE TO CREATE 1. OK GET THIS ONE CLEARLY?? I DON'T FLIRT AROUND WITH GUYS. I ONLY DO BLOGGING TO FREE MY BOREDOMS. GOSH, BRAINLESS PPL DON'T ASSUME SOMETHING THT YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW. MY BF KNOWS ME WELL THEN YOU. ASSHOLE BESAR! HEH.

2010-07-08T00:57:00.002+08:00

hello, gdmorning.

i'm too bored at home. i'm so bored of staying at home. i wanna go fly up up up in th sky like batman and superman flys. or can say aladdin carpet lend me also ok, i wanna fly around th world at night by myself. though i often went out now adays but still its killing me. th boredoms kills me bit by bit. i can't breathe. me and him went smoothly, but th thing is i need more quality time for me and him. i want his attention. grrrr...

idk is it me or th world goin crazy? is like i lack of alot of things. idk what it is. ok diam suda. whatever laa life. life u are driving me crazy fullstop. i need something to peace me ok. gd bye. i hate u. i love u. i don't know.

2010-07-07T03:48:00.005+08:00

hello, sorry for th lack update for yesterday.
been super happy going in and out from home and super happy with what i have now.
yeap! as you guys can see th photo'stht i upload here is my cousin. I L.O.V.E THEM.!

For me they're th one who cheer me up when i'm down, willing to give in to my stubborness and forgivable and never
forget to makeme laugh till i cracked my stomach for real. i love them more then i love a chocholate's..haha!

though, they may say words tht offended my feelings they really knew how to get me to stand back on my
feet back and made me feel much more stronger and grow more loves between us.
And sometimes, they may be core irritating but i have to take it who else gonna make me smile if not them?
And sometime to see their tears in eyes, i really willing to give my ears to them so they can feel like they have someone to listen. And to listen to their chicken backside mouth can make me laugh! ok..
1 word, YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY PEOPLE BUT AWWEESOOOMEEEEE! pantrataatatt!!! hahahaha!

ok and p/s: RATHNIE GET WELL SOON! saranghae!!

p/s: i love my bf too if he does love me, sometime he maybe quite like cheebye! ok bye! haha!

2010-07-04T00:54:00.004+08:00

A little Piece of me, its a little piece of you. A little taste of something, thats tasted all so true.

You were the first one that I am keeping for life, A little piece of sunshine, thats all mine.
Hold me, love me and trust me, thats all I want to hear you say. kiss me, feel me, its so lovely, This dream of life is here to stay.

a little bet of crazy, and heart that makes it good. a certainty of loving, when I look at you, I feel the one thing that I never felt before. you become the one that I adore..

a little piece,
Yannyjamal
xoxo

2010-07-03T00:53:00.002+08:00

Hey sweethearts,

actually, yesterday morning at 10am i am still sleeping and then came my mom bang th door so LOUD like BOOMZ! i got shocked and thought it was bomb or what?!! durhh... so sleep back. wahh shiok YKNOW, sleeping while raining.

Then while i sleeping, someone throw pillow on me! and its my mom again. she wants me to accompany her to go out. i slept back and she shout fucking loud sia, so no choice wake up with draggy feet straight to th toilet. took my shower prepare my wangi face, touched up and off i go out makan with my momma. she treat me, dapat duit extra right?

Again while eating, she asked me about him. durhhhh.... shaky sia my hand. but momma just miss kai. HAHAHA! ok so i opened up other topics cause i just dont want to ruin th day with momma so chit-chat with her and i want to buy my toiletries. So, i asked ma buy me feminine wash, body scrub and more la. huhu! then my mom met my aunt, PEH LAA KECOH! and seriously, i just cant take it th way they talk. for god sake my mom was just infront of her and her voice is like super loud can be heard like th whole bus just her voice. darn...

then, singapore people all so KIASU! bus got fucking damn space at th back but stingy people or i should call LAZY FAT ASS SINGAPOREAN just dont have th heart to move at th back space. i pity this secondary sch boy got bang by th slide door entrance bus arhh watever it calls. So KIASU! plus in mrt ahh MORE KIASU SIAA... CHEETHEBYE! i and my mom waiting for mrt, and yeah peak hour must be packed so we're understand and let th person who wants to get out, gets out first right? but this lazy fat ass cheebye singaporean like cannot wait to go home? rush for sex with bf ahh? bodoh punya kambing! she pushed me side and went in and push th guy who wants to get out from tht stupid train. FUCKING HELL, feel like want to slap tht fucking face of hers. next train wait also about 3min? latest is 6mins? wtf cannot wait! like it was th last train like tht. gundu bala! so wait, and boarded another train alight at marsiling.

APE LAGI, MAKCIKS-MAKCIKS shopping siak!! tunggu punya tunggu tawu sampai how long? its fucking 5hours shopping. nak grab beli and zoom balik ajalahhh... i hate waiting..i hate to do shopping with makciks. yes, i know u have to browse first then try it on then buy. yknw how they did? browse then say "eh lawa!! " then grab then find fitting room then try then come out say " macam mane yanny??" then browse again then go in again the repeat what she had said to me earlier then repeat th routine again like so many times. gosh browse 1 time try 1 time and happy choose which 1 to buy then pay cabot suda.. even my niece a toddler only 1yrs old say " dadadadada!!! tak abey abey" suppose to mean tak abes abes right.. she also tired.

then haiyo....now im tired to type.. so long sia story today.. ahahahaha! called dad to pick us up at 11pm and then he was not in th mood so mom and me keep our mouth shut and dad kept swearing at th car behind for not even switch his lighting at th front car and nearly we banged them. now am home. and so lapar.. ok go bye. nk mamam! heeee

2010-07-01T00:01:00.002+08:00

THE HOTT GUYSS!

>

hey again blogging. today late for blogging cause ANNA AZHAR is here with me.. happy sekali! sukesukesuke!

well, im all lost after a year i dont listen to ROCK songs like punkrock, post hardcore, hardcore, metallica and etc i dont get myself update with their bands. LOL, i remember i love to listen to BLESS THE FALL band but now their lead singer is not CRAIG MABITT anymore. but change to ESCAPE THE FATE. baik ahh! i like you! Not as handsome as he used to be but nevermind i'm still here listening to yr voice! fuck yeah, i love yr voice damn it!! and this BLACK VEIL BRIDES i also love his cuteness! shit mann! they look so adorable... HAHAHAHA! YANNY MENTEL! after start listening back to this song i let anna azhar listen back and guess what, shes being fanatic siaa. she told me she share a7x song in her facebook. i dont know about facebook actualy but this is th way she told me. share , so i guess its right share. hahahaha!!!! ok LAME! i was so left out for this networking stuff online. hahahaha. ok shut up! lol! so yeah i must strt uploading back my corecore rock song and filled up in my phone.. ahahaha! dah gila perr? i feel much better listening to this type of genre since 13yrs old, my bro switched on his phoe with heavy metal, and from hate i become love those song. and tadaaahhh see now yr sister bro da tersangkut kat lagu macam ni.. ok i'm blabbering to much i gues i have to stop. yikes! so happy today idk whats up, maybe anna azhar is here. BUT SHES SLEEPING NOW..ok SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH sleep! hahaha... bye! gd night/morning!

2010-06-29T15:45:00.003+08:00

Hello my beautiful people reading my blog. haha.

ok, i know no one will be reading my blog. but i kept posting new post. well, my brain function everyday and every second, i have lots of words or story to tell every time. though my life is total suckness, i wish someday god will give me th happiness to lead my life. what so suck in my life? haha! nothing much its all th same thing tht went through most on th teenagers wanting to grow up.

Seriously, i hate th way my family treats me in time. i hate it when people order me to do stuff tht i dont want. like forcing? but mostly, i SUPER DUPER hate my fucking YOUNGER BROTHER! i'm easy going girl, i go and follow th flow in times. what do you want i will do even if i dont want to. just to create a happy moment and made them smile. do they think of me? no! cause i listen too much they treat me as if, ahhh this girl ok go punyer so force her do. i fucking head it when people just go overboard me. nah-uh, dont try my luck. cause i know i never hates people tht deeply and always forgive them after cursing them.. haha. short tempered. but i dont do revenge ok?

and another thing is relationship, i want to have a wonderful long-lasting relationship. tht can commit till end. my bf and me and me and my bf. so i dont mind without having a friend. cause friends are there for stabbing. it's irritating i know to meet yr love ones like 24/7. but i like it tht way. day off sure... i give space but dont ever lose any trust tht i gave to u. once i lose it truthfully it's hard for me to gain tht trust back, though giving a CHANCE or NUMEROUS CHANCE won't fully regain me back like i used to. theres always be conflict for sure. when u had no feelings for me already, tell me so i knows it. yeap hurts, but i will try to make 1 step back from u. u love me, i love u ten times then it could be. i give u everything tht are meant to be. hehe. but i have stubborn too so depends.. Lol!

friends or foe, im not sure what is she trying to do to me. saying all bad stuff in my relationship makes me hurt deeper. i know kai never treats me fair as in i treat him. i know he has alot of girl friends around him. i know him, even he lies. i felt it. but i let it go. i know people could change. i'm giving everybody chance till when i see they can't change then i'll make my own decision. im not an angel too. i know how burden i am to him. i wish to stop AND make him happy to fly but i cant. my lips say let go but my hearts say don't. i just love him and i wish he realised it what im trying to do in this relationship. and for you, stop calling me say kai this and tht. just let it be. till th person realise. :)

god, could u give me a magic power?? every night before going to bed i'll pray for what i wants to achieve, could it ever come true? i know i'm like not appreciating what god gave me th path tht i live. i just couldn't take th pain, but remember i pray i will try my best to take it and change it. when i look up into the dark sky before going to slp, i smiled but beneath it i cry tht hoping my life would change to be better.i just feel i'm cheating th people around me putting on fake smile whenever they're there. i'm sorry guys. i just dont want to trouble up their mind of taking care of me.

WOAH.. my stomach growling.. lets eat! i cook in th morning already because of my mom throw pillow on my face. i can never have my sweetdreams. my house is like haunted house. so many bunyi..

2010-06-28T22:33:00.002+08:00

F.U.C.K.M.Y.Y.O.U.N.G.E.R.B.R.O.T.H.E.R!

FUCKING PISSED! i fought with daddy today, kanina my younger brother say i wishy washy with kai in my room! FUCK HIM! ninabuey.. we aint do anything like for god sake and my dad was really harsh to me saying those words! FUCK YOU PA AND MY YOUNGER BROTHER! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! i just fucking hate people who dont trust me! fuck you all! just go away from my life. i dont wish to see you in my sight fucking cb! feel like want to take knife and kill my own y. fucking brother! fuck la not brother.. he just a stranger to me! fuck him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck you dont want to give me chance to story! fuck you la!! i dont want u anymore!!!!!!

2010-06-27T14:04:00.003+08:00

Reflect yourself before pointing to others, 1 finger pointing to others 3 fingers pointing on you back.
Eventhough how pretty you look in th mirror you never know how ugly you're inside. it's ok to be ugly as long you stay pretty inside.

I just wanna look as if i'm stronger then my past years, i wanna build up to be smarter, to be who iam but i failed and still i'm trying my best to face it and make it smooth. i just dont want it to end it half way and live life with hatred and vengeance. please do understand my situation, i just don't love to be treated invisible and wonder by myself. Don't say you love me if you dare to hurt me, don't ever say you care about me if you dare to see me cry alone.. i'm all by your side even you don't see me. i'm right inside your heart. do you feel me? i'm just right there.

2010-06-26T02:12:00.002+08:00

On top picture is like th day before he went in N.S.
Today, I'm so pathetic crazy.. i can laugh myself telling out what i'm gonna say. Lol! i'm missing this guy here. but now, i dont dare to txt him cause i wanna him have his space. i might make him stress always. am i too bad? i guess so. ok wtver biatch! haha back to square 1, i was missing this guy here so i went browsing my folder photo which i kept for so many years and i look at his photo and shout his name "KAI!!!!" HAHAHAHA! omg.. thts how much i missed him. *sigh*

and i missed my old times with him like totally where he used to love camwhoring and i don't, but now i prefer camwhoring and he don't. what a change within only for 2yrs. in 2yrs time anything can happen uh? tsk..tsk.. but i'm glad tht i went this far with him. th more i look into his photo th more i started to love him fully back. god, please help me!! idk, whats he's doing and i'm sure he won't be missing me in this kind situation. hmmm, its ok. but i still missed him.

today aunt was here, and she was asking how's my relationship and she shared her's with me. mummy looking so jealous when i'm close to aunt. mummy, i love you too ok! it's so funny we shared our rlationship story and mummy just listen and shake her head and says "tskk..tskk.." ma, pls eh stp it. haha! aunt says i'am impatient, impulsive and moody thts made things goes like this. and she ask me go search my zodiac and read, and yeah part of it is in my attitude. she says tht i used to be so independent in my family but now i depend on him and say "whats wrong??" though i don't answer her question my reason is actually, he's in my life for 3yrs and i'm so used to be around him tht is so difficult for me to stand on my feet back. i have to start learning back how to stand with my own feet like baby does. it'll took long time. hmm. i don't want to talk much or else someone will read this and says i'm stupid. i knw i don't spread my link to relatives. it's better.

p/s: i miss you like hell bby.

2010-06-25T19:44:00.002+08:00

Astrology Aries March 21 - April 19

Aries Strength Keywords:

- Independent
- Generous
- Optimistic
- Enthusiastic
- Courageous

Aries Weakness Keywords:

- Moody
- Short tempered
- Self-involved
- Impulsive
- Impatient
Aries and Independence:

Aries personalities are independent. Being the first of the zodiac signs, they venture out and are go-getters, often leading the way. Their upbeat and magnetic personality often entices others to follow their lead because Aries personalities bring excitement into others lives.

Aries and Friendship:

Aries are good friends, they always look out for their friends with caring and generosity and will protect them should the need arise and encourage them with their natural optimism. If confronted, Aries can turn to be quite childish, they will fight back with their agressive nature and are known to have temper tantrums should they not get their way.

Aries and Business:

Aries are activists. If a business idea comes their way, they tend to plunge right in. Aries are more then willing to take a gamble and follow their dreams and goals. However, if success is not immediate, they tend to lose interest and give up easily. Aries are notorious for not finishing what they have begun. This is due to the low tolerance for boredom and lack of patience. If the excitement is gone from their business idea, they go off and search for it elsewhere.

Aries Temperament:

Independence is key to Aries astrology, they do not like to take orders from others and enjoy getting their way. They can get childish or moody should they be given orders that they do not like. Aries easily take offense to comments made. Aries are self-involved and can be self-centered, if they do not pay attention to the feelings of others, Aries can easily become spoiled and resented by others. In order to get their way, Aries will tell a lie if it seems advantageous to do so. They are however, not very good liars and other people can usually see through them.

Aries Deep Inside:

Underneath the strong, independent surface may lie insecurity. This is due to the intense drive to succeed and Aries put too much pressure on themselves, thus resulting in self-doubt however, the natural optimism and enthusiasm overtakes this and the underlying insecurity may never be known to others.

Aries in a Nutshell:

Aries is the first of the zodiac signs. Aries is the sign of the self, people born under this sign strongly project their personalities onto others and can be very self-oriented. Aries tend to venture out into the world and leave impressions on others that they are exciting, vibrant and talkative. Aries tend to live adventurous lives and like to be the center of attention, but rightly so since they are natural, confident leaders. Aries are enthusiastic about their goals and enjoy the thrill of the hunt, "wanting is always better then getting" is a good way to sum it up. Aries are very impulsive and usually do not think before they act - or speak. Too often Aries will say whatever pops into their head and usually end up regretting it later!

What it's like to date an Aries Woman:

Dating an Aries never lacks excitement. She is hot-blooded, and forceful, so you had better be able to handle the heat! The Aries woman is for the person who likes an independent self-driven woman who can fend for herself and is not clingy and needy. An Aries woman requires freedom. For the Aries woman, the best part of the relationship is the beginning, then the spark is there and she is trying to catch you to be hers. She will find happiness in a long-term relationship because she enjoys sharing everything with her partner. She will not only have a romantic partner but a best friend too. She has a great need for love and passion but she will never let a man become the master, she considers her partner to be equal. Aries women are not for domineering men. She will be faithful but she expects the same in return. She can be jealous because she wants a man to give her all of his attention, "all or nothing", so her jealously is rooted in her possessiveness, she has to be number one in his eyes. She will always encourage and give strength to her partner so an Aries woman is great to have in times of despair or need, she will always be there for you. In order to have this happy ending, she needs to feel appreciated and loved.

How To Attract Aries:

Let Aries know that you admire them, they thrive of admiration and followers. Let them know that you love their zest for life and that you find them intriguing, they love compliments more then most other astrology signs of the zodiac. Compliment them physically and mentally, they like conversation about intellectual topics and engage them in a lively discussion, or a friendly debate. They love the challenge and the stimulation of good, intelligent conversation. Ask them for advice, let them know that you look up to them. Remember, Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and the most forward and independent, they love followers. Do not be a push over, do not keep your opinions to yourself because Aries will quickly get bored if you agree with everything they say. Do not attempt to control them however, they do not like taking orders. Aries are very capable people so if you go with their plans, you are sure to have a good time! If they have a suggestion for something to do, go with the flow, they like to be in control of what goes on.

Aries Erogenous Zone:

The head is Aries' most powerful erogenous zone. Stroking their hair and rubbing their scalp will make them feel relaxed and heighten their sensations. Nibble the ear, for especially the men, they will not be able to resist this, he will get uncontrollable urges and you will soon be all his!

Sex With Aries:

The Aries zodiac sign is straightforward, aggressive and adventurous and this is reflected in their approach to sex. Expect it to be physical, quick and rough, they like to dominate and have the upper position.

WOWZER!

2010-06-25T02:37:00.002+08:00

HELLO! morning, now is 02.45am and i still wide awake like i just woke up from bed.

ok, so where to start uhh? ermmm.... ok yesterday i went to toa pa yo correct ant th spelling? LOL! nvm mind my spelling ahh, i went to tpy cause this lady from CDC called me for interview. she told me alight at tpy exit C and take bus 232 opposite busstop. freaking hell i search for 232 opposite busstop like hell! raining somemore. knn, my phone auto shut cannot on then i cant make a call to her. 3pm i should reach there but instead 3pm i reached there at 4.30pm. haha! atleast reached what right.. it was supposed to be braddell stn but she told me tpy!! nabeii, lucky shes pretty and good to me yesterday! free photoshooting and i fucking damn look ugly and fat plus flat hair. erghh! i won't use tht photo. hahaha!!!

she introduce me about courses tht i should take up cause i told her i wanna upgrade myself as i stop study after my 'n's so she say she could help me. so, im gonna be happy tht i can atleast gain a cert after for long 2 yrs not schling. durh! so chit chatting with her till idk what time i went for my 1st meal at tpy banquet or kopitiam eh? i forgot ahh..ahhh as long they look th same ok ready ahh, i go and order hot pot mee. damn full laa got fire somemore hahaha.. eat so damn bore to go home early, sat there for awhile got ppl disturb laa. i paiseh ready, hahaha like seriously i paiseh idk why, dont ask me.so i trained down to rathnie's place and paint my nails. i think 8 times i paint and 8 times i remove it and atlast repaint it only 1 tone which is nude pink i think, so silly and i tot i still used th same colour but i paint my another side nails orange colour. see, eyesight become worst ready... rathnie is sick she kept vomitting.. gosh, i wish i can help her. but she's too stubborn to listen still with her cola and gree tea and what fuck sweet drink feel like slapping bangla dick at her face!! all i can say is tc for yrslf and get well soon. so i can't stay there for long i went home at 1145pm last bus nomore cabbing, if not i go bankrupt. lucky my journey took like 30mins only. and i reached home safe and sound. fought with someone til i drugged myself again to sleep. i feel so steamy and blurred plus weak and hit th metal bar at my bed and bleed myslf. thanks metal now, i got bubu on my lips mcm anita serwak daa.. haha!

maybe it's my fault to love u deeply, i cant even breathe myslf free tht i have to kneel down and cry hoping u won't leave me. if i never have love u deeply it won't happen this way. jealousy, or whatt. i cried and i almost can't listen to my own voice when i shout yr name. i'm not strong enough to handle this, but i'll still try my best. i'll sealed my eyes, heart, lips, and mostly my ears so things won't happen like this. i'm just jealous and i'm scared tht u gonna leave for someone better thn me without me notice. thts all i tot, tht i felt like killing myslf yesterday. with so much comforting me i feel better and drugged myself to sleep. and for now let us peace.

2010-06-24T02:50:00.003+08:00

Hello peeps. morning, now clock strike 03.01am and here i'm blogging and down with tears. come on, again? yea.

i don't know why god let me be in this life. someone can exchange lives with me? i wanna be happy can? for god sake, nobody knows how i felt at this time crushing my heart and still say there will be hope again. i now fuck th HOPES! but what i believe now is KARMA bitch. i felt so lonely, i felt no used to be in this life anymore. i wish i can go blind and i dont see any mistake people did cause it just hurt me more deeper. i wish i could change myslf, but whenever i intend to change something will just stop me for doing tht and it could be anything. can god give me a magic power to change th whole world and treat ppl all fair and square? can no humans gets sad and angry? can relationship commit till th end? can 1 guy be for th 1 girl? can have no vulgarities? can have no tears? sometimes, i think i was too much. but ppl kept letting me down when i just wanna be right?

we used to live like meeting almost everyday and never ever failed to make me smiled, i rmmber i was afraid to give my first kiss to him cause i scared i will be in pain in future if he leaves, always under my block at th playground laying on my lap, always ask me to give u tight hugs, always hold my hand when we walk together, throw coin in th reservoir and wish what i want to throw in life and what i want in life, walk me home, crave cement me and yr name, watch movies, when u say u love me, when u say u want to marry me, u draw liner on my face and i drew yrs, when i stayed yr house, see u snored, when u used to called me everynight then sleep and never failed to say 'love u 'at th end, when u used to give me proper massage when i'm all aching, where u fed me like a bby, where u used to stay my house for weeks to get yrslf recover, to be with u.

bby, wheres everything gone? will it last? do u want this? bby, where are u when i need u? bby, why do u change? bby, what do u want from me tht can make u be happy with me back? bby, u wont change. bby, i have to listen to u everything. bby, u still unhappy. bby pls tell me. bby, dont let me wonder and walk alone in life. bby, i need u and i still love u. bby, can u understand me? bby, what if i die? bby....i dont have a life like yours. bby, can u honestly say u love me. dont let me wonder.

p/s: bby, tell me how do u feel when u saw me flirting with other guys? bby tell me what do u do to me? what if i leave u and go to tht guy? bby, pls tell me. bby, tell me what if i've xchanged my numbers with him? bby, tell me what do u feel if i was on my phone for 24/7? bby tell me something nice. bby, tell me if u love me with yr whole heart. bby, tell me u could do anything for me to make me smile and laughed again. bby, am i boring to u? bby, am i disgusting? bby, when can i have u hug me like u used to? bby, when can we sit at th playground and u lying on my lap in th midnight when everybody is slping? bby, when can u kiss my forehead agn? bby, when will u cook for me agn? bby, when can u draw my face with yr liner agn? bby, what if i never found u? bby, wheres my happiness tht u kept for so long? bby, can u come now comfort me? bby, why do i need u? bby, do u know i'm crying now? bby, why things arent over yet? bby, wheres my tight hug tht u used to ask and give? bby, can we commit with each other? bby, do u know i'm scared? bby, do u feel me when im sleep? bby, do think of me everyday and time? bby, i'm sad. bby, am i useless? bby, why cant i hate u? bby, why must u be in my heart? bby, why must we bump with each other in mrt before knowing u? bby, can u answer me? bby, im confused. bby, do u need me in yr life? bby, can u live without me? bby, i cant live without u. bby, why must b me? bby, what will happen in 20yrs coming? bby, i love u, do u?

love,
yannyjamal

2010-06-23T03:02:00.003+08:00

TH 50 THINGS THT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YANNY.

1. i'm irritating much? but i hate irritating people.. (:

2. i have mood swing even if i'm not having my period. it depends..

3. i'm crazy much, love to dance stupidity and sing my lungs out?

4. i talk much, and i can't live without talking 5mins.

5. Troublemaker and egoistic.

6. I have 6 family member but i would love to say 5 instead.

7. I hate my younger brother, i dont wish he exist. thts why i would love to 5 family member instead of 6.

8. I'm a daddy's girl, my daddy needs me so do i. <3

9. I love to get hugged and kissed from him. whoost! whoost!

10. I always cry at night and then i can sleep.

11. I love looking in th mirror. i look in th mirror every hour..

12. I'm not pretty but the foundation cover my imperfection and eyeliner do wonders on my face.

13. I love thick thick make ups.

14. I like to see pretty girls instead guys. really, no joke for this one.

15. I'm a drama queen.

16. I'm a cry baby.

17. I love lenses and hate specs. my eye sucks.

18. My life sucks, mind exchanging?

19. I love caffeine. It make me feels vibe and hyper.

20. I have instinct which never lies. but i kept quite.

21. I'm forgetful and also forgivable.

22. I am 158cm but i look taller cause i have skinny figure.

23. My boobs looks big cause i have small body.

24. I wrote diary when i feel sad or tortured.

25. I like fashionista kid but please not christmas fashion. A REAL FASHION kids.

26. I love to dressed up even if i'm at home.

27. I change my nails colour every 2 weeks. i love creative art on nails. i do it myslf.

28. I hate bossy or braggy guys. erghh! so not my cup of tea.

29. I love guys who like to act stupid and cute.

30. I commit on stuff. like relationship and work.

31. I look in th mirror and say " i'm cute though i know i'm not without makeup."

32. I get ready for 2hours when i'm meeting love.

33. Now i think im pretty cause i have alot stalker. haha! thanks.

34. I love chocs and ice-cream..

35. I dont eat alot in daytime. but i eat alot at night time.

36. Nobody knows me well accept my dear rathnie.

37. I love to vent my anger to rathnie. ' th weird thing she still love me thts why i love her' haha.

38. Nobody knows i got depression.

39. I hate liars. But i always give chance to liars. cause i knw i lie in times :X

40. I love if love kiss my forehead. i dare to say i will die for him if he leaves me.

41. I dont act stupid but i think i'm stupid. i'm a slow learner.

42. Theres still long way to go to tell more about me, you guys won't be reading either.

43. Nehhmind, i continue a few more. I love pretty boys.

44. I have fat fingers laa! which my ring cant fit onto my 2nd finger.

45. I dont have much friends.

46. I love it when people stared at me.

47. Dont mock at me before i fucking give you a smack on yr ugly face.

48. I'm annoying, i love to annoyed my love.

49. I love my sassy boy.

50. Lastly, tired liao. I hate girls says she fat when she knows shes fucking skinny and has gd figure.

Hell fuck yeah, this is so random. love dont txt me. knn. make me angry sia. erghhh! bye lahh!

2010-06-22T16:49:00.003+08:00

congrats to abang mimi and kak mardiah, atlast you guys got your wish. im so happy for you. when is my turn?? haha.. ok mine still long to go..CAN HE BE MINE?? (: i'll be back blogging again ltr if im not tired. good day!

2010-06-21T00:11:00.001+08:00

A song tht meant for me and him, can i love this song too? heh.

2010-06-20T00:26:00.002+08:00

Yesterday plus today i've been very busy helping out my cousin wedd. but when i reached there what i help is just watching tv. hehehe! WORLDCUP somore! wahhh pathetic sia hearing my uncle say GOALLL!! i swear not my forte! hahaha!! but nvm. and then i went down i play with stray cats since all my cousin busy with their stuff. i'm like 1 lonely girl there. so today my cousin ask me makeup them like not only 1 but mostly my aunties laa deyy so kecoh! then i like have to kanchiong.. have to makeup th GROOM somore.. ehem..ehem.. he's extra very handsome today ppl say. hahaha! ok wth, and th whether is freaking hot and humid plus i sweat like a pig. how i wish i can go home and shower and chnge my clothing but cannot. damn. thn forget it laa. eat and eat and eat. nice siol...bone steak, sambal udang, sotong, lemak woahhhh make me feel hungry agn and i ate like 5time ready lohh today! hahaha.. shit! till i now got stomach ache.. all mixed into one then become shit! hahahahahahaha! so now at home i feel like shitting also. damn i 've got bad instinct goin on. fuck laa! go and die!

2010-06-17T19:43:00.002+08:00

heehee! ok back to happy mood like FINALLY baby! i know i was crazy throughout this week. why am so happy is because, i've got a new bigbig bed! haha. yeah *look up at th pic* mind my eyebrows and th pic quality. i used webcam laa deyy! thts why. but however, i still have my big bed, fucking shiok liao! like i just got married and like tht th bed. lol! so next time i can bring my bf watch movie in my room.. hahahahaha! sexy siaa!! i conquer th whole bed by myself! i still abit dizzy, cause like i say tht time i crazy right i go and take pills like 6 pills? then i woke up at 3pm. pfffft! then i got fever woah.... the feeling is good to die! ok what so ever. im happy with my double CLEAN ROOM! and my double BIG BED! im good at sleep in bed. hahaha! ok wanna roll around my bed!! whee!!!!

2010-06-16T04:24:00.003+08:00

I'm disappointed with th harsh words i receive from you. i want th best in me. i give you everything i could afford to give you and what i can say it's almost of my life i gave it to you. i put a high hopes on you and i get this in return. thank you. i guess you're wasting your time just want to have fun. you don't seek for th future. everything you want all for yourself, you want to feel good all by yourself and you jut want everything all by yourself. once i can take it, twice i can hold it but it's a numerous of time. i thought you can change, but you told me if you love someone you have to accept what their flaws. indeed! but what about me? i'm lost. i'm trap. it's not easy for me to fall for someone, but i fall for you, when i fall for you, i don't want to lose you, when you intend to let go it's hard for me to let go. is it me who choose to live miserably? i really wish for i can duplicate another you, and treat you th way you treat me is it th right way tht you want? am i asking for so much from you? when i need you, where were you? it really hurts me. but i can't do anything else. i want you to lead live happily. and i wanna be happy too.if i knew things would go like this now i really wish to turn back time and study hard and don't depend on anybody. i just feel i'm such a loser now. if you want to lead everything tht no need for me to care, what for having me? i'm here to care for you to show you love.th hard thing to leave you is you have your time almost everyday last time and spent time, you cared about me, and th 3 years we build it's hard to let go just like tht. idk about you. i'll always to get blame. i'll always you say tht will regret. what more you can say? what i can say, nobody is perfect but if they try their best to change to be better they could! just think.

2010-06-13T18:48:00.002+08:00

You and me, We used to be together .Everyday together always. I really feel,That I'm losing my best friend .I can't believe, This could be the end, It looks as though you're letting go, And if it's real, Well I don't want to know !!
Don't speak! I know just what you're saying, So please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts! Don't speak ,I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons, Don't tell me cause it hurts.
Our memories, Well, they can be inviting. But some are altogether. Mighty frightening. As we die, both you and I, With my head in my hands .I sit and cry !

2010-06-11T14:38:00.001+08:00

Ni baeekk punya! hahahaha!! aku pecah perot tgk vid ni.. enjoyzz lahh korang sume kat sini.. hahahaha!! btw, i'm still down ok. !! this vid brighten my day a little bit!! haiyooo!

2010-06-10T02:27:00.002+08:00

goodmorning everyone, i'm kinda down now, again i know. everytime i'm being emo in my blog. 1 second im super happy another second i burst into tears and let out in here. is it fade in my heart? or is it still hanging on there? just 1 question, why am i hurting now? is it true, when people says "a liar will always remain a liar, even if u given them a chance or more they won't change, cause they're liar." how can i end this in nice manner way? i want u tell me. straight at my face. make me hate u if u want me leave. make me love u if u want me for eternity. treasure me, appreciate me, care me, love me, loyal to me! just a simple love i'll be greatful, i'll be happy. thts all i ever wanted. i'm scared to fall into yr false hope, im scared i cant let u go, im scared tht u lie to me. i wish i can prove how u react to me. i wish i can duplicate another u and treat u like tht. all i want u to do is realise. i love u very much and its hard for me to say love to someone unless they're special to me. when u sleep like a bby, i stroke yr hair, give u a kiss on yr hand, touch yr hand, hug u. do yknow how u meant for me? u just dont seem to understand me, and its really fucking hard. whenever if people did mistake there will always end with SORRY, but i dont see it from u, i still forgive u and love u like i do. really, nothing can change my heart for u. but every people has their own limit, and u havent seen mine yet and i dont wish to show it to u how ugly i can turn to. whenever fight occurred, i will always think th positive way about u to make me calm. i never want to hate u, but if things happen to be someone's involve then i rather ask u to settle it in a nice way. i'm happy if you're happy. i'll try my best to keep my word. and don't worry you're still th best in me even u think you're not. even you think you're ugly but not for me. i dont go for tht and i'm happy tht you're like this. pardon me for saying harsh words in times, it just blew me off when i felt hurt. i will go crazy and i just dont know what i'm saying can hurt your feelings. i maybe selfish and i really know tht real well, even before u told me. i dont want to lose u anymore, i want my right! tht is why i'm selfish. i want to be with u like 24/7? i know its kinda irritating, but i just cant control myself of loving u, orelse i just sat in my room and cry, cry, cry and cry. and swearing words came out just like tht in my mouth. realise pls. change pls. for th sake of this. pls pls pls pls pls motherfucking change and realise! i love u pig! really.

2010-06-08T17:43:00.003+08:00

repeating th song of crazy by son dambi. damn i love tht song. (:

2010-06-07T14:04:00.002+08:00

helo pepol! hehehe! i'm damn bored to th core at home. HANDSOME right this guy above here?? i know, i know. stop drooling over him ok? his my another bf. haha. ya, i got so many bf in my mind. but 1 in heart loh! hahahaha! ok just shut up! i saw this guy at channel SENSASI, show called tasbih cinta. and i like to see his face(: CUTEEEEEE! not only cute, th smile he gave can melts me. i know i'm crazy. i know i dreaming to get him. his an indon guy lohh! but whateva it is, im gonna watch him now again. gahahahaha. i go gaga over him. bahhhhh!!!! ok chiao!

2010-06-06T01:14:00.003+08:00

i cant sleep, and its like 3.30am. insomnia. come on. and i want to wake up early so i dont waste a day. cause time is precious. now then i realise. been rotting at home. with rathnie i need something to boost me up ok? oh how i wish i have sweetest bf in th world. haha. i mean in my life. am i asking too much for this? errrr, i guess no right. have time for me and love me respect me tu pon susah ke? haiyo... whateva la about boys is always boys. limit always have limits. so maintain yanny... i felt quite down recently i dont think this gonna work out to be good. just fyi dear, u trying to ruin bit by bit. i wish i have lots of lots patience. plus minus this story i kept hearing round and round really burst me into tears, but what th hell i'm not gonna say much about this anymore. what prove i have and what i see tht i think its truthful i believe in it. scares me out, to get hurt in relationship. u put hopes on it suddenly its gone and what u left with is pain and sorrow. my god. i cant describe what th FUCK i feel. i always gets confused. i wish i am smarter, and i can go fuck them upside down. yanaazhar bday yesterday, i bet she had lots of fun with her bf(: hey babe! HAPPY BDAY! i love u ^^________^^ promise is a promise. and hell yeah, i've made a promise to myself about this relationshp and i dont wanna let it out here... hahaha better figure out yrslf..if i have to broke it means i will let go. =X did i just say tht???? omg! ok i have to go IMH for counselling hahaha!! im not crazy asshole but just to get tht mothafucking 50 bucks for just survey. abt depress.. woah.. i got alot sia. confirm it wont last 4days to finsh. cheycheychey... i miss him like fuck like tht but no, he dont care. haha. ok. so wateva la. i will make myself busy go out meet people instead waiting. (:
i cant upload video here, like wtfuck happen to blogger now? mcm cheebs bin th bye.!! peh la boring! when u need someone they r not around what do u feel? i feel like its fading soon or sooner. but we'll see right? if change alhamdulillah. if not amin! hah ok. i being to straight forward cause i dont wanna keep those feeling inside me anymore. so piled up. can work like office ready inside my body. ok then chiao chin chi!

2010-06-04T13:25:00.002+08:00

sorry eh for those who think this guy here hot, but for me i dont find him hot lansung. idk th ugly big ear with so many tattoos OMG, u dont look like humans anymore. already have nice skin why must u inked it? though u ppl may think its cool, hmmm.. diff ppl diff opinion horr so i think not for me. and yesterday, i dreamt someones force me to ink me. not tiny little bit but 2 full legs and back, full of tattoos. ofcourse i was terrified to see my parents like tht. lucky it just a dream. was like in freddy kruger dream. and now, im so angry with someone. i dont want to say who is tht. what do u think i am uhh? wateva laa, what makes u happy just go on and say harsh words to me. (: i'll swallow everything i can. and for tht tomoro is someone's bday!!! eh where r u sia, hope u're not working. heh. okok. i'm out of words and i want to dig in my BEN&JERRY. toodles!

2010-06-02T14:10:00.002+08:00

am so bored plus mom being so naggy this few weeks. i think dia tengah datang bulan ahhh!!! asik asik kene fuck sia. aku pon naek bosan. wthell i do momma u wanna make so much complaint about my life.. kao peh kao bu. haiyo... or she stress for preparing cousin's wedding tk pasalpasal balik she like harimau terlepas from zoo. no i dont mean to be rude to my mom yknow. i love her eventhough she's scold me. so what, my life everytime kena fuck punya... no peace. thts why am being so stubborn. what i want i must get it. what i say to my momma i will do it ma! but she annoyed me in times make me shout back at her or slumber party aku klua rumah without answering her question back..when she shout i tell u from 4th floor to th ground floor u can hear her voice. haha! sapesape jadi suami aku prepare ar for dia punya non stop it blast voice. bawak cotton banyakbanyak sumbat kat telinge korang k? but mostly mom tawu behave when someone's around, so nothing will happen laaa...aku je tempat dia buang temper. haha. i think my dahi ada cap FUCK ME!! hahaha.... wtfuck yanny! momma being so mean to me. daddy is still nice to me. i won't ever let daddy down. and whatever pa wants something for help i'll be th first to be gladly helping u (: thank u pa! ma, please be slightly more nice and lower yr tone to yanny ok. i'm tired too doin th house chores when u not around ok. ok peace. now yanny th peace maker. (:

2010-05-30T02:16:00.002+08:00

Hangout with cousin and friend in civic centre just now and have lots of fun. just cant explained how much we laughed till my cheeks is aching now. and went to rsthni's crib and waiting for someone but end up paitao* baeekk arh* keep me waiting for nothing..and no mood so rathni came out with this idea to make me live back to normal by webcaming..i get so live when it come to taking photo's. haha till shiok sendiri and i forget to angry ready. very clever moron ya rathni? so yeah.. i want more of this next time.. peace.

2010-05-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

funneh or what? i love family guy show. hohoho.

2010-05-26T14:16:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time, yanny used to be a geek with brainless who everytime gets bully by others. she never hates others, and always forgivable. but one day, a rude boy disturb her life to the fullnest which makes yanny be a little aggressive and hate him. she study how people treats her and she did th same way as what people did her but DOUBLE! she fuck th world. she fuck her friends. she fuck care. what she care is herself. and she's selfish. disgusting! her life sucks and she intend to hurt herself sometime for not getting that rude fucking boy. haha! so, she change bit by bit. she got influenced by her brother's fave song, which is heavy metal, post hard-core, hard-core songs, and whatever corecore.. she's no more little nice girl. her job is fuck peoples life. and suddenly she has alots of friend which is uncountable. she's happy, she tot that people will be by her side whenever she needs them. but guess what? they're not. they are there to make it worst. and so, slowly she back out with one trustworthy friend only. and she live more then happy life together with her only tht friend. she prefered to have less friend thn having tons of them. she change cause her friend. she loves her friend. and always hangout at th staircase laugh our lungs out. we looked like a lesbian. we hold each other hands and thts how much i love her. but it stays for awhile and i gone to my life back. i leave her and lead my own life with someone else. as i think he took care of me. he brain washed me and change me to be a good girl. and now whenever i go anywhere by myself i'm intend to get scared. idk why but its fact. but when i get upset or angry cause i'm a short-tempered girl and i fuck th world again. she thinks about herself. ans she's selfish! disgusting! she fuck care who around her, love, friend, cousin? nah-uh! she still will be selfish. so she calm herself and her taughts she realised it just my anger but i dont mean it yknow?! some understand some dont. what a difficult life uh. ok i guess i have to stop th story telling session. cause my stomach is kickin my ass off! pms fuck off!! grrrrr!!!

2010-05-24T17:11:00.003+08:00

Here we go again
I kinda wanna be more than friends
So take it easy on me
I'm afraid you're never satisified.
Here we go again
We're sick like animals
We play pretend
You're just a canible
And I'm afraid I wont get out alive
No I won't sleep tonight.

Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
Oh oh
I want some more
Oh oh
What are we waitin' for?
What are we waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.

Here we are again
I feel the chemicals kickin' in
It's gettin heavier
And I wanna run and hide
I wanna run and hide.
I do it every time
You're killin' me now
And I won't be denied by you
The animal inside of you.

Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
Oh oh
I want some more
Oh oh
What are we waitin' for?
What are we waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.

Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
Oh oh

I want some more
Oh oh
What are we waitin' for?
What are we waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.

It's just the world is quiet
So hush we both can't fight it
It's us that made this mess
Why can't you understand?
Woah I won't sleep tonight.
I wont sleep tonight.

Here we go again
Here we go agiain
Here we go again

Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
Oh oh
I want some more
Oh oh
What are we waitin' for?
What are we waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.

Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
Oh oh
I want some more
Oh oh
What are we waitin' for?
What are we waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.

Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
Oh oh
I want some more
Oh oh
What are we waitin' for?
What are we waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
(what r u waiting for?) (=

2010-05-21T13:17:00.004+08:00

i was superb bored today, browsing thru my lappy folder by folder and saw this pics. i missed him so bad and i wish he knew it. haha, whats wrong with me ayy? looking thru our pics i can break down to tears. i really do love him. we used to loved each other deeply, even now he still gave his attention to me i felt like there something lack between our love. idk what it is. is it my negative thinking? or he irritates me? or what? even if he irritates me i can take it in times unles i ask him to stop. i knew him for 3yrs how can i not take it th irritation tht he gave me? idk somthing missing. i hate him for making me in love deadly with him. i cant let go of him. i must meet him 24hours. i want him to stayover my house. i want him to treat me like 1 and only human exist in this world. all for me and him only. yes, im this bad. blame him! hahahah! i want u all by myself!! hahahaha!! yanny crazy!!!! why cannot ar? suke ati la.. lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
loveloveyou kaisheng!

2010-05-20T01:20:00.002+08:00

makeover session with my younger sister.

2010-05-15T00:26:00.002+08:00

I just dont know where to start. things goes diffrently by plan, goes haywire, chaos,thts what i can say. he just not th way he is. i miss him, th OLD him! what should i do? am i flirting? i wonder...i dont feel like im flirting. am i meeting guys outside? i dont think i ever went a date after i met HIM! what i can do in this life? i dont know at all. im just so confused. Im so tired of arguments and stuff, always trying my best saying oh, nothing happen between me and him. we're just fine. but a few sec later my head burst. u know th shitty feeling plus pain in th heart plus dont know what to say or think feeling is into me. gosh, i wish i can blew it off from my life. whats exactly is love? oh love dosent even exist. u know in second u feel so happy and another second u burst into tears. is tht love? i wonder why does people say love is wonderful where u will felt like someone stabbing u on yr heart. it just like killing u softly. th minute i see him here another minute hes gone. just like fantasy, like yr not in yr world. it feels weird obviously. it breaks my heart easily because i dont know why is tht so. A big question mark in my head thinking of what will happen next. time flies so fast and freaks me out. idk im still in what year. wake up yanny! where things went wrong? ok? daa. f.u.c.k.y.o.u.

2010-05-13T23:32:00.002+08:00

was at rathnie's crib. but im too sad i dont know why i feel this kind of feelings though i know it sucks! i get irritated and annoyed so easily. i cant help it to control my anger. i just burst it out what i think tht i hate and tht is so not me. too tired to fight. been so lazy, lazy, lazy and lazy. sad, sad, sad, sad and sad. can i have my life tht i used to laughed almost everyday? wateva it is here some picture tht i too frm rathnie's crib. camwhore cause i was dead bored. hanis!! ure so cute bodo!! nak gigit pipi!! ok go!

2010-05-11T18:07:00.002+08:00

this was yesterday photo, took it when i reachd to th office. had so much fun with her.cause we are like conquer th whole office at tht time of moment. lol! may didnt want to take picture. what larh she... see, now cannot take picture with me anymore. so sad. today i more sad. may i know what type of person am i? selfish? ego? or what? i dont get it tht every time i wanna have a good time with someone, prepare th plan for today ruined. kencing betol! whatever la. th more i talk i become more mad like pig! bye!

2010-05-09T20:52:00.002+08:00

cut my bangs!! whee!! no i dont perm my hair.. just using my thongs to curl em up. too bored while waiting for l.o.v.e to come so this is what i did to myself.. stop being vain larh yanny!! lol! my hair colour have fade so i think i have to recolour it. fuck it. work as per normal. i love th new work mate in th office. lol!! love them more thn in th sales group. oppss!! but th thts th fact. they're nice to me thts why i love them. ok, so gonna work more harder and try to memorise stuff in my head. tomoro work again, lucky can wake up abit later then 5am. hohohoho! i have to b in at 12pm. sososososo happy gito lohh.! ok once i strt blogging confirm crap in my head. so tomoro wanna camwhore in th office with th colleagues there as we had plan too. tomor must remember bring my camera. ok?? haha. ok then. bye bye bitchos!XOXO

2010-05-03T19:30:00.002+08:00

I don't tell anyone about the way you hold my hand.I don't tell anyone about the things that we have planned. I won't tell anybody, Won't tell anybody.
They want to push me down, They want to see you fall Down.

Won't tell anybody how you turn my world around. I won't tell anyone how your voice is my favourite sound. I won't tell anybody, Won't tell anybody
They want to see us fall, They want to see us fall.

I don't need a parachute.
Baby, if I've got you, Baby, if I've got you.
I don't need a parachute.
You're gonna catch me, You're gonna catch if I fall Down, down, down!

Don't believe the things you tell yourself so late night and You are your own worst enemy . You'll never win the fight .
Just hold on to me, I'll hold on to you.
It's you and me up against the world, It's you and me....L.O.V.E

I don't need a parachute
Baby, if I've got you, Baby, if I've got you.
I don't need a parachute
You're gonna catch me, You're gonna catch if I fall Down, down, down.

I won't fall out of love.I won't fall out of,
I won't fall out of love. I won't fall out of,
I won't fall out of love. I won't fall out of,
I won't fall out of love. I'll fall into you.

I won't fall out of love. I won't fall out of,
I won't fall out of love. I won't fall out of,
I won't fall out of love. I won't fall out of,
I won't fall out of love. I'll fall into you.

I don't need a parachute
Baby, if I've got you. Baby, if I've got you
I don't need a parachute
You're gonna catch me, You're gonna catch if I fall Down, down, down.

2010-04-27T19:18:00.004+08:00

hunn, do you know i love you so so much? promise me u won't leave me. thanks for th lovely hug and kisses! hee. and hunn, you look after me when im sick(: tysm. more photo will be updated next post. XOXO

2010-04-19T23:28:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YANNY!!
thanks for those who have wish me, appreciate much(: like omg! u guys remember my birthday. lol! kiasu like tht horr? haha. work busy as per normal. each day goes by i started to feel lazy to attend to work. sian leii.. how i wish money can just drop from th sky and what we do is to just shake leg.. haha. lazy bum! what has change about being 19yrs old is, i have fine wrinkle. hahahh!! no laa kidd. what has change is my life, my attitude and trying to think positive all day long. even at work. all i want is to success! and to keep money steadily to buy a house in future. chey! haha. and a car. chey! berangan mau lebih but cannot achieve. nvm, atleast i have a dream tht im looking forward to. so.... mummy and daddy forget my birthday...!! knn i so sad. they never even wish me.!! can i cry? and i miss my cousin truckloads! see i post their photo. tht was like 2 yrs back? woah~!!! really! really!! i belive it sia.

2010-04-18T23:27:00.003+08:00

SUNDAY.
a day i had my off day and spent my quality time with th love ones:) though there are fights intimes we still manage to gather around and had lots of laughter. grandma is sick and we must have th urge to visit her. she kept bugging me to come to malaysia on th 30th which is my work days. and my passport is expired daa... boring.. eh, today my birthday laa??!! haha.. rathnie remind me. if not i forget. birthday this year was sucks. im 19yrs old now. what an old faggot. living for 19yrs ruining yrslf. whatever it is day is always sucks. job was sucks. u know why? i can't even drop my own card. and alot people is quiting there. soon after i pile my money enough i'll quit :) teeehee! i miss my rathnie and yana azhar! where are you now? when i need you th most. chey nak step justin bieber. blueh~! thanks for th wish once again. my birthday had to work. so lazy... fuck sia. knn cb. bye laa!

2010-04-11T00:04:00.002+08:00

such a fucked up week tht i must screwed some ppl mouth. went work no peace. home no peace. where th fuck can i find peace. had a fight with my higher rank ppl. they say i was taking granted and making used of my leader and some higher roler to drop my card. and say im not doing my job seriously. 1 word to me for them is FUCK YOU! i work hard like a mad dog. i drop my own card and beat some of th ppl there but then i split my mark to make it level cause they're my buddy.! tht is why my card is lesser then th other week. mouth like one mother cb like tht.. and pressuring me to memorise th script... wtf sia? im not a salesperson and i dnt have to memorise stuff. i just wanna be myself out there and approach ppl. just like how i approach my friend. th nig nagging makes me BLOW for th moment. gosh! i cant believe it tht they talk before think what theyre trying to say about me. so what i can just leave th company when i want or what. th only make me stay there is i wanna do some save up and was help by 1 of my leader. which really taught me from A-z. really patient though im a blurr and slow learner. he even drop all card and gave to me and he left with nothing. whch means i get to bring commission and he ntg. by nxt week, if i dont get to hit my target i'll die!! 35 cards in a week. can somebody help me clear cards??? lol! im just scared of having a slow day and just brought back 25 cards. i know they will say tomorrow u dont have to come confirm. haha. but dont know yet must wait and see horr. and yana good luck for th 2nd interview hope u get tht job! heee. bye!

2010-04-08T01:22:00.002+08:00

tired from work. see how formal i'am. how chiong!!! people..haha

2010-04-05T00:26:00.002+08:00

Hi, ive been soo busy lately and had so much problems tht have yet to be settle. damn, why is life so complicated? my colleague told me, its complicated if u think it is complicated. th key of th answer is all in u whether yes or no things will be settled. and my problem is tht im a fickle minded girl. i love changing idea which is th best for me and my family. however they ddnt treat me well but still they are th one who grown me up this big. and i should appreciate tht of thinking giving them a income. they are old and they should be resting at home few years later coming. and me and my brother will have th big responsibility years coming. its like so tough but i must be matured by then. and really thoughts of settling down by then. if possible. *sigh*

life toughs uh? hmm.. what can i do to mend things in proper? maybe im too stupid to dream such big things. people can take for granted of yrself. it just feel ridiculous. thanks for people who had advice to me whats good and whats bad. and th compliment of being crazy and hurting myself. darn you guys. haha! with and open mind i hope i can sucess in my life. amin. i wanted to be beautician. always and forever. arggh~! so fustrating.

and also thanks for everything tht u made me felt warm by yr side. i knew whre things when wrong and i think im to blame tht i kept myself quite. and i dont speak up. in this world im scared of many things. tht is why i dont dare. no matter what u r still mine.lovelove (:

2010-04-01T00:23:00.000+08:00

i miss this bodo!! haha.. so tired. want to sleep. *yawning* had a great day peeps!

2010-03-28T21:47:00.004+08:00

makk oii!! otak pecah xia. stress!! can somebody make me smile big big? and pleased me with something tht i deserve better in my life. cheers peeps.

2010-03-25T23:32:00.002+08:00

Something i can see tht u cant see, something i can sense tht u cant sense. moody for work tomoro.

2010-03-23T07:03:00.002+08:00

Ayu L, we won. we got back just before 3days. bluek!! bodo! loser!

2010-03-22T09:50:00.003+08:00

i'm down with high fever. lying on th floor with blanket and still shivering. just puke. had a bad headache. and i see half black when i stand. gosh, i ddnt went to my work. th boss called me had a short chat and say get well soon and come back for tomor. idk, if i can make it boss. ure too nice. yana, get well soon too and we jump like we used too. haha. imy girl. *lovelove*

so hungry. stomach growling. no appetite. i scared i puke again. gonna hurt my tummy. and i hate puking. want to eat fish porridge. but so far to buy. house no people. rathnie sleeping. feel so tired. backache. urghh~!

psb: ayu L kan kepo. haha. ya i should let kai and ayu settle. cause idk anything actually. suddenly chaos. thanks for dropping by.

ain: oh ya, he artwork are great. he should knows tht. trap for kai but pissing me off. haha. always and forever in my heart he should know tht. if there's love they wont go anywhere. unless u take it too rash. dimana ada kemahuan di situ ada highway. lost ape? i dont understand la. explain please. hee.

lynn: kecoh ah. tk nampk pe. u heard what about this? know ayu? any info? email me. miyanimiko@hotmail.com if u pity me. i want to cut th girl breast. haha reply me asap!!

ayu L: apa sarcastic. u sarcastic first what. u chat with him ok? everyday la u chat with him. since when u want to stop? rabak ehk, u miss him everyday. haha.. like i say ayu if u say he dont care about me let him say tht to himself personally. he got my no. he can just text me i dont care about u. easy. ask him do tht since u say he say tht. ok dear? then why u angry u should be happy if he says he wont care about me. doink~! haha.. flood my comment about kai somemore.. i miss him. i want to know what he says about me.. k? k we're bestfriend on net. power.

2010-03-21T14:40:00.003+08:00

this post is clearly to AYU L,
so people who read this can judge her. i think she loves attention. she lack of attention.

AYU L, th first thing is u should not enter in my life or relationship. but u did and made thing so chaos.
- so now, haha u r saying my bf force u to ask me break with him?
like tht la th story eh?

- i still care abt him ure asking?
yes i do.

- and u say th photo is prove and make up with many girls and should i care much?
err.. care much what? ofcause i care. why i cant care if tht time im with him?

- ure not anti me but want to piss him off?
why my blog why not to him? ure not pissing him off but ure pissing me off.

- sorry to spoiled my relation and u have to do this?
because u r self-centered selfish bitch wrecking other people reltnshp to made them fight. thts u. and proud somemore. than step apologise. eeee.

- wawa, aby and tagged he ask ferr date?
hmmm.. nak jumper dorang samesame settle.? confirm settle fast. how?

- i got looks and can find better guys then him?
because i wore makeup to make myself look good but actually i dont. so better guys then him is idk. who is my future? we plan but god will decide.

- trust u even if we are not back together he dosent care?
ermm..trust u for what? u also lie. he dont care? hmm..he can say tht to me by himself. (:

- mane nak care when he flirt with so many girls.?
haha. tht is his prob. still i can't trust u.

- dont get other girls involve just let u and him settle?
u bodo or what sia ayu? dont get other girls involed but ure th one involed them.. how u both one settle? u also involved me in. stress tau.

- u need me to help u by cup with u and break with him?
haha. ayu, ayu.. very th funny. cup with u when i dont even trust u and know u mane bole girl. break with him? ok da break. haha. da break pe happy? set? haha

- u steal my photo because u saw on my twitter i type tht down?
ya, why steal? i too pretty eh nak steal gambar i put at yr tagg? aigoo~! dont la nanti i popular u tk popular u jealous. i dont want to be popular. tk da life. kene stalk everytime by paparazi like u.. scary u know? delte la, favour. k? we be friends aftertht i teach u magic of makeup to make u look super hot like supermodel. amcm?

- steal to let people judge on him and leave me and he will change?
judge on him for what when its my photo not his. promote him la so he got customer for tattoo. promote aku apahal brother? story ah! haha. orang judge dia and he leave me? how to? people judge him then he will leave me? aigoo~! and he will change? hehe. ya i hope to he can change and i believe people cant change with th wink of an eye. it took lots of processing. blajar tu. dont change banana fruit 2 times ok? haha.

- sorry sayang i should understand u?
wow syg? must i understand u when u dont understand me syg? funny.

- yr'e trying to help me so dont want me mara mara u like tht darling?
who helping who? i think i help u. da break pe. kan u happy. mara pasal aku bole muntah darah sial bobal nan kau. tak paham ME-LA-YU. lau eng tk paham understand-able la. ni melayu sia. k siao.

- read my email and i will understand more?
da bace pon and aku pon da reply kau. sumpah aku tk paham kau.haha. FREAK-OS!

anything else to say? ok bye. eh wait... bukak topeng u ok? hehe ok bye ugly ugly ayu. bad bad ayu! because of 1 topeng u spoiled all th topeng. haha. so people, be brave and dont ever ever be a fake bastard like her. no good. aigoo~!

Love,
yanny(: